Famous Last Words: General
by 2dragonkat
Summary: A set of stories based off of the last words of various movies. These are all general stories based on the show. Enjoy.


Prompt: "Famous last words" - General

Rating: All the way from "All Ages" to "Mature"

Author: 2dragonkat

Disclaimer: Joss Whedon is the man and I worship his godliness.

Summary: This is a long set of drabbles (these are general focused) each based on a different quote from a movie. And all of these movie quotes are the last line of the movie (so that's how I'm connecting it to the prompt). Some quotes are from movies I adore, others are from movies I don't even know. Some quotes are exactly the same, both in the movie and my drabbles, and others either needed names or entire words changed to fit into context. So each drabble is titled with the original quote, then that quote is somehow imbedded in the story. Enjoy!

AN: I wanted to post these today because I'm going in for major surgery tomorrow and wanted to get all of my stories up since I won't be able to post stuff for at least two weeks. I hope everyone enjoys.

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"I think you'll like it here. We're one big family..." - Stage Door (1937)

WC: 765

Simon slowly walked around the shipyard, looking at the dozens of potential space ships, all of which were dingy, dirty, and below him. But he could not think of himself now, he had to think of the little girl nestled away in the cryo-chamber he had left in a warehouse at the end of the docks. He scrutinized each ship he passed trying to find the one ship that was the most unnoticeable and inconspicuous of the lot.

He walked slowly trying to blend in, but figured at the looks he was getting his outfit and glasses were making him stand out. Oh well, nothing he could do about in now.

A spin of colors out of the corner of his eye made him look around. He first noticed the girl, she was sitting on a lawn chair with a colorful parasol spinning above her head. She had a smile on her face, looking eagerly at those people walking by, who were paying her ship no mind…her ship.

He looked up at the ship and realized it was exactly what he was looking for. It was a ship that anyone would look past without even noticing in, undetectable to the naked eye. And Simon was sure he wouldn't have noticed it if he hadn't seen the girl. He walked closer and examined their destination. Boros. Not bad, he could probably catch another ship and reach even deeper into the black, but Boros would be a good spot to lay low for a while.

He glanced up and saw the girl had noticed him and was skipping towards him with an infectious smile on her face…he smiled back…she reminded him of his sister, all bright eyed and bushy tailed. She thrust out a hand, happiness nearly making her face split. "I'm Kaylee," she said, voice young and bright…just like how he remembered his sister.

"I'm Simon," he replied, grasping her smaller hand and shaking it. "And I'm interested in catching a ride on your vessel."

If possible her eyes lit up even more and she nearly bounced in her spot, twirling her parasol. "Well of course you are. Serenity here is the best ride you can get here in the 'Verse, if ya don' min' me sayin'. She'll get ya from her to Boros without barely a bump, so long as you can pay," she had the decency to blush and lowered her eyes demurely. "You can pay can't you?"

He nodded and the girl was all smiles again. "You have any luggage you need help with," she said leading him towards the ship with a light and shy hand on his back.

"I do actually. One piece in particular is rather large and will need more than man-power to move," he said as they reached the lawn chair where Kaylee had been sitting.

"No problem at all Simon. HEY WASH," she shouted, and Simon flinched a little at the pitch. "Get the Mule you lazy bum, we got a customer."

Simon titled his head and jumped slightly when a the spatter-pop of an engine coming to life sounded and a red-headed man came barreling down to ramp on a four-wheeler. "At your service milady, what can I do for you," he said, bowing dramatically.

Kaylee huffed and slapped the man's arm. "For one you can stop makin' fun o' me. And second you can pick up Simon here's baggage," she said glaring, but turned with a smile to Simon. "Where's your stuff anyway?"

He cleared his throat and coughed behind a fist. "Umm, my things are stored at the Eavesdown Warehouse, under the name Simon Mat, here's the ticket to pick up the things," he said, reaching into his pocket and producing a slip of paper and handing it to the man named Wash. "Thank you very much."

"No problem at all," he said, saluting them before driving away. Simon stared after the man, at his genuine kindness and turned to Kaylee. "He seems like a very nice man."

"Oh he is. Damn good pilot too," she said, patting his shoulder. "You made a good choice with Serenity. Everyone is real nice on this boat. I think you'll like it here. We're one big family…"

He smiled and nodded at her, thinking he might like it, for the time being, but none the less he could not let his guard down. The Alliance had people everywhere, and he couldn't afford to let them get a hold of River. He couldn't trust anyone, not even the bright-eyed, smiling girl before him…who reminded him of his sister so much.

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"A new home and a new school. It must be a bit scary." "I think I can handle it." [Lines written for the English dubbed version - Spirited Away (2001, Jp.)

WC: 375

Simon slowly walked down the stairway from the cockpit, where he had just been told he had a place on this ship, him and his sister. 'It's enough…' those words echoed in his head and he understood, at least somewhat, what they meant. And he respected the fact that the Captain, even after everything that had happened, could still find a silver lining.

He walked towards the mess hall, planning to check on Kaylee and then his sister before he called it a night. He entered the minimal kitchen and found someone sitting quietly in a chair at the table sipping tea. It was Sheppard Book.

He smiled at the man. While Simon himself was not a man of faith he found no reason to discriminate, especially with this fine man before him. "Goodnight," he whispered.

Sheppard Book looked up at him, slowly setting his tea down before lacing his fingers together and resting his chin on them, letting wise eyes scrutinize Simon. "What did the Captain have to say," he asked quietly, his voice a deep rumble.

Simon stopped and stood on the other side of the table, across from Sheppard Book. He lifted a tired hand and sheepishly scratched the back of his neck. "Well, he told me that River and I can stay…here. Since the ship needs a doctor and such. And the Captain said we would be safer on the run and I have to agree," he said, giving a hesitant smile towards Book.

"He's right about that," the Sheppard said, nodding. "You would be safer here. And you have a chance to earn a living. Though it's obviously not what you expected, being a gifted doctor like yourself."

"It's enough," Simon said, smiling at the words.

Sheppard Book lifted his head and smiled right back. "Yes, it's enough."

Simon nodded to him politely and turned once more to head towards the infirmary and his quarters. He stopped at the door though when Book spoke once more.

"A new home and a new life. It must be a bit scary," he said gravely, eyes glued to Simon's back.

The Doctor glanced back over his shoulder and laughed humorlessly. "I think I can handle it," he replied before disappearing out the door.

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"This is the life, ain't it?" - Secrets & Lies (1996, UK)

WC: 206

"This is the life, ain't it?"

"I suppose sir…"

"I mean we got paid without barely any trouble."

"Yes sir…but…"

"And we got new cargo, heading of to another world to get more money, and this time we don't need to give anybody a share cause we got this one all on our own."

"Yes sir…but…"

"I gotta tell ya Zoe, today was a good day. I fell like I can just sit back and enjoy the ride, no lookin' o'er my shoulder or anything."

"Yes sir…BUT…"

"But what Zoe?"

"Well sir…Jayne did get shot today…"

"That he did Zoe."

"And the Doctor said it caused him to bust his appendix…now the doctor has to do surgery on Jayne."

"He is doing surgery Zoe."

"So how does that make today…"

"Do you remember what the Doc also said Zoe?"

"Sir?"

"Doc said Jayne was going to be unconscious for at least a few hours, maybe for the whole day."

"…sigh…Sir…"

"Yep. Yep. This is the life, ain't it? I could get used to this…he Zoe where ya goin'?"

"To help the Doctor. We don't want Jayne to be out for that long do we Sir?"

"Zoe…gorram it Zoe…get back here…I should have you fired or something…ZOE…"

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"It is this or that - all the universe or nothing. Which shall it be, Passworthy? Which shall it be?" - Things to Come (1936)

WC: 417

The day Mal left home, back on Shadow was one of the hardest days of his life. He was leaving to join the Independence forces, because he believed in what they did, that folk should be able to live their live however they wanted. He had to leave his family though, to fight for that belief and that was nearly unbearable.

He had lived on Shadow his whole life, had never imagined a life for himself except for the one he lived each day on his Mama's ranch. It was a good, tough life, made him a strong man both inside and out because he had the love of all those people around him. He had of course dreamed of a different life, off among the stars. But he never made light of his dreams…not until then at least.

The night before he left Mal got cold feet. He locked himself in his room and refused to come out, not even for Mama's special meat pie. He had curled up in his bed and shivered, terrified and unprepared for what was going to happen tomorrow. He wasn't ready.

His Ma came by around midnight and barged through the door, how she did that, when he had locked it, he assumes was a mother's secret power. She sat down on his bed and stroked his hair not saying anything, letting him be the one to start the conversation.

"I'm scared," he whispered into her apron.

"I know baby. I am too. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't do this," she replied, voice a soothing rumble above his head, blanketing him in her security.

"Why," he asked.

"Because you aren't meant to stay here Malcolm. You're meant to go out there and make a difference, whether in one life or many. You have a destiny baby, and it ain't here on Shadow."

"But Ma…"

"No baby listen to me. You're scared now but I promise you won't ever regret leaving. You'll find a life out there that'll make you the best man you can possibly be. And you can of course come visit if ya ever get homesick. Okay baby."

"Okay Ma."

"Just think of it like this baby. It is this or that - all the universe or nothing. Which shall it be, Malcolm? Which shall it be?"

He looked up at her, gaining strength from her words and stroking hands. He sat up and hugged her close. "I want it all Ma. I want all the universe."

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"This world is so full of crap, a man's gonna get into it sooner or later whether he's careful or not." - Hud (1963)

WC: 399

Inara was a woman of grace and poise…she did not lower herself to the common practice of screaming in frustration…though she was very close to throwing the rule book out the window in this situation.

Jayne was laughing so loud and so hard, Inara hoped he had a heart attack or something…that would show that brainless gun-hand to laugh a woman such as herself. Or maybe she'd take one of his precious 'ladies' and but a bullet right through that horrendous smile. Mal was looking rather smug, and a little self satisfied. Inara wished she had her bow and arrow so she could put that man out of the misery of being a stupid, ugly, brute…by first taking away that which made him a man. 'It's not like he'd been using it lately. He doesn't need it,' she thought with an evil mental smirk.

Wash, Kaylee and Book were all trying valiantly to not laugh…so Inara figured she'd spare them from the horrible fates she was planning for others less fortunate. Zoe and River were expressionless, because one, Zoe never laughed, and two, River probably saw this coming so it wasn't as much of a shock to the genius.

"This world is so full of crap, a man's gonna get into it sooner or later whether he's careful or not," Mal said around chuckles.

"Ya mean woman, don' ya Mal," Jayne replied, both of them barking with laugher and holding each other's shoulders to stay upright.

Inara fumed and clenched her fists, huffing before stalking out of the cargo bay, towards the infirmary. Ignoring the parting remarks of those 'men'…and the barking.

"You know, these beagles do have smaller droppings than those cows, but it must be fate that the most uptight members of this here crew step right in 'em," Mal gasped out.

"Yeah, first the Doc and now Inara," Jayne replied, both of them breaking down into laughter again.

Inara closed her eyes, still scowling as she tried to compose herself. She opened her eyes and found Simon standing in front of her, with understanding compassionate eyes. "I have some polish that will get rid of the mess and the stench. It worked for me," he said, turning and offering his arm to Inara.

She smiled slightly and slipped her arm through his, glad there was one man on this ship who knew how to treat a lady.

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"Man, that's what I call cutting it close." - Lover Come Back (1961)

WC: 339

Wash fixed his eyes on the ship heading right for them, arms trembling a bit with how tightly he was gripping the wheel. It was one of the oldest games…the game of chicken. Under any other circumstances Wash was positive he could win because he was reckless and talented like that.

But these were not ordinary circumstances.

He knew he wouldn't win today…because he was playing with Reavers. And they never lost, because they enjoyed pain and destruction a little too much.

But Wash wasn't aiming to win, he was aiming for tricking the Reavers and letting them fall right into his trap. He planned to turn right at the last moment so they were side by side. Then he would flip his right engine into reverse, using it to blast them away from the ship in reverse and also hitting the Reaver ship with the after burn from Serenity's engine. Hopefully it would be enough to throw them off so Serenity can escape.

His face twisted as they drew closer, sweat beading on his forehead. He felt his wife's sturdy hand on his shoulder, and as always, whenever he was reminded that she loved him and she was his, he became that much stronger. This was going to work.

It happened exactly like they planned, but with something a little unexpected at the end. Their after burn must have hit a weak spot on the other ship's hull; it was a rather old ship. And that caused a whole side of the ship to rip off. As Serenity flew off, the side of the hull flew past them and everybody in the cockpit gasped in surprise. It that had hit them…well they wouldn't be flying away that's for sure.

Once they were a ways away and Wash had double checked that the Reavers weren't after them, the pilot collapsed in his chair, running a tired hand through his sweaty hair.

"Man, that's what I call cutting it close," he rasped out, reaching back to hold his wife's hand.

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AN: This next set of stories have ended up falling into a single story line, which I have now dubbed the 'Lost and Found" Verse. I hadn't planned this but that's what happened. Go figure.

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"So tell me, what has become of my ship?" - Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (2006)

WC: 728

Badger, in his line of business, had many close calls. But of course as he became more powerful and built himself a reputation in the community those moments had dwindled down steadily. He had had moments when he had feared for his life, but there was never a man that truly made him want to shit himself…until he met Captain Malcolm Reynolds.

Badger realizes as he dashed down a dark hallway and ran into a dead end, that he was truly so scared at this moment that he could piss himself. He actually trembled when he heard echoing footsteps start down the hallway he was trapped in. He squinted into the darkness but couldn't see anything, and he knew he wouldn't be able to until it was too late.

All right, he admitted it, he had made a mistake.

About a month prior the captain of Serenity had come to him for a job. Badger himself was frustrated because the man before him did get the job done but Badger was discovering the man was gaining a reputation, a rather good one in fact and the man had walked into his domain like he owned the place, making Badger feel like it was his privileged to have the man in his presence, when it should be entirely the other way around. But he had not made light of his feelings and had given out the job without much effort and insulting.

After Captain Reynolds, his lovely lady and his brainless ape had left he had made a call to some shady individuals he knew from the old days. He planned to teach Captain Reynolds a lesson, show the man where his place was. The men he knew would do anything for a pretty penny and they eagerly agreed to the plan…it seems Badger wasn't the only one who wanted to get even with Captain Reynolds and his crew.

His men were to fly out to the rendezvous point and after the goods and money had exchanged hands they would ambush Captain Reynolds and take away the one thing that gave that man his power, his ship…Serenity.

Everything had gone according to plan, his men surprised the crew and commandeered their ship then left the group stranded on a backwash moon without any way to get off. The ship was brought back to him where he would keep it in his warehouse as a trophy until someday Captain Reynolds came back to claim it, cause Badger knew he would.

Then when he did he had a speech all planned to make the Captain feel like a small insignificant bug compared to a respectable man like Badger and he would learn his place, his place beneath those in power.

But everything had gone wrong. Captain Reynolds had shown up, but weeks before Badger expected him. He had walked in, guns drawn with a look in his eyes that made Badger do something he never did…he turned tail and ran.

He ran away from the sounds of gunfire and screams, knowing his bodyguards were being decimated under the look of Captain Malcolm Reynolds and his crew. He ran as fast as he could, turning corners, shoving people out of the way…all in an effort to save himself from that man…that soldier that was after his hide.

So here Badger cowered, trying to control his bladder as the footsteps that he heard echoed down the hallway. They walked slowly, like they had all the time in the world…and that would have pissed Badger off if he hadn't been so scared.

The footsteps were right on top of him and he looked up fearfully to see Captain Malcolm Reynolds before him, murder in his eyes. The man was alone, but that didn't make him feel any safer. Badger pressed himself tight against the wall, gulping as he stared at the man towering above him.

Reynolds smirked at him, teeth glinting in the dim light and he raised his pistol, aiming it and letting the barrel rest right against the middle of Badger's forehead, and he was horrified to feel a warm trickle down his leg. Apparently his control had shattered under the burning look of the ex-soldier in front of him. "So tell me," Reynolds growled, pulling back the safety. "What has become of my ship?"

He had made a mistake…a big mistake…

"The son of a # stole my watch." - The Front Page (1931)

WC: 175

"The son of a bitch stole my ship!"

"That's apparently what happened Sir…"

"The son of a bitch stole my ship!"

"What're we going to do Cap'n?"

"The son of a bitch stole my ship!"

"T'ain't gonna do no good screamin' 'bout it Mal."

Malcolm Reynolds stared sightlessly on the spot where not moments before his ship…his freedom, rested. Now it was gone. Stolen by some group of misfit gangsters who probably had a history of inbreeding and how they had managed to steal HIS ship was still a mystery he was scratching his head about. But it didn't matter, cause they were working for someone. Some bastard who had a good whippin' comin' since the day they met.

Badger.

When Mal got off this stupid piece of dirt he was going to hunt down that creep and teach that rat who was truly, the better man. Badger is gonna regret the day he made Mal mad.

"The son of a bitch stole my ship," he whispered, fingering his pistol. "Let's go get it back."

"Maybe he just wanted to steal our wire cutters. Did ya ever think of that?" - Stalag 17 (1953)

WC: 573

Mal walked into the room carrying Badger over his shoulder. His crew was all crowded into the small room where Badger did business. He dropped the man down into the one corner and looked to Zoe, eyes asking the question he needed an answer for. Zoe walked over to Badger's desk and picked up a book.

"Says here he's been storing Serenity in a warehouse not a mile from here. It's still all in one piece," she said and everyone breathed a sigh of relief.

Mal nodded to Zoe, thanking her, as always, for being his pillar of support. Each of them had reacted differently to their ship being taken. Kaylee had cried, Preacher had prayed, Jayne had cursed up a storm, Simon had been twitchy because his sister's meds were still on the ship, Wash had sighed and made sarcastic statements before Jayne told him to shut up, Inara had comforted Kaylee and River but murder was in her eyes, Zoe had been deathly quiet (as always), and Mal…well Mal had shut down, brain not wanting to accept that his freedom was gone.

After a day of moping on that backwash planet they had been left on Zoe had managed to rouse them all and come up with a plan. It had been simple really, get Inara to contact a client only a planet away, act the damsel in distress and they were off the planet in a week. They had gone to the client's planet where they regrouped and stocked up on arsenal. They set out five days later to Persephone, where they hoped and prayed their ship was, and the man who betrayed them.

Mal was shaken from his thoughts when Kaylee walked up to his side, looking at the man on the ground. "Is he dead Cap'n," she asked quietly, still sweet and innocent, even towards the man who had almost ruined their lives.

"No, he's not dead lil' Kaylee. Second I put my gun to his head to do the job he passed out cold," he said, glaring at the fainted man. He couldn't kill a man that was passed out.

"What a pansy," River said, also glaring at Badger. Jayne snorted, smirking at the young woman, while everyone else chuckled quietly. She had a habit of saying exactly what they were thinking, in some way or another.

"Well the second he wakes up he's getting a bullet between the eyes," he grumbled, and Kaylee didn't even flinch beside him, like she usually did. In fact she even nodded alittle, in agreement.

Book stepped forward then, walking towards Mal. "Now Captain, I'm sure it doesn't have to come to that," he said calmly, ever the voice of good and reason. "Maybe he just wanted to steal our cargo. Did you ever think of that?"

"No it didn't. And are you defendin' the man Preacher," Mal accused, turning towards Book, as everyone else had.

Book looked around then down at the man on the floor. He seemed to think for a few moments, scratching his chin and staring off into space. Book suddenly turned to Mal and smile. "Well no actually. I just felt someone should say it. Shall we tie him up so he cannot escape when he wakes up."

"Now you're talkin' Preacher. Jayne get some rope. You, Simon and River stay here with him, make sure he ain't goin' nowhere. The rest of us are heading to that warehouse and getting Serenity back."

"Nothing's too good for the man who shot Liberty Valance." - The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance (1962)

WC: 666

Wash always enjoyed going to a bar with the crew when they were planet side. He never drank himself, because his wife didn't like it when he did, and also he wouldn't be able to watch everyone else become drunken fools…although this time the had a very good reason to celebrate.

"Nothing's too good for the man who shot Badger," Mal slurred, wrapping an arm around Simon's shoulders and ordering him another round of the most expensive whiskey in the place. Jayne was next to them roaring with laughter for no reason and patting Simon on the back. Those three were sitting at the bar, drinking themselves into oblivion while the rest of the crew sat around a table near them.

Wash leaned back and grinned at his wife; she just shook her head and kept an eye out for any bad guys in the bar. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and looked to his other companions. Inara and Kaylee were watching the three men, commenting on their stupidity and such, while River nodded in agreement beside them. Sheppard Book sat silently, reading his ever present Bible, but glancing out of the corner of his eye to the drunks at the bar, giving a wry grin…most likely thinking about how those three will feel in the morning.

Wash didn't envy them in the least.

This whole celebration was because they had one less snake who could rat them out or take advantage of them. He wasn't dead, just put in his place, by none other than the doctor.

Jayne and Simon had been left in the room with an unconscious Badger while everyone else went to go get Serenity. Mal apparently planned to torture the little weasel for a bit, teach that bastard a lesson that you don't double-cross Malcolm Reynolds.

Apparently though Badger had woken up and Jayne and Simon were at the other end of the room talking…or arguing…however you looked at it. Badger, for some reason, had a pair of nail clippers in his back pocket so he managed to get himself free before either man noticed. He had jumped Jayne, figuring to take the big guy out first. Of course the only weapon he had was nail clippers but at the time, he was too pumped up on adrenaline to notice. He knocked Jayne against the wall and had tried to make a run for it but Simon suddenly had him at the wrong end of a gun.

Of course when Badger really looked at Simon he had recognized he was a fugitive and had threatened to tell. Which was apparently the wrong thing to say because, as Jayne put it, Simon got a really angry expression on his face, obviously not liking someone threatening him and his sister and he pulled the trigger. Badger fell, clutching his shoulder as blood pooled over his tailored clothes.

Jayne, who had actually had a bright idea come into his head, came up and smashed the side of a chair into Badger's brain, effectively putting the man into a coma, that Simon said he probably wouldn't come out of, at least with any short term memory intact.

Lucky them.

They disposed of the body at another one of Badger's hideouts and flew off into the black victorious. They landed on a backwash moon and hit the local bar the next evening. Mal had taken Jayne and Simon by the shoulders and steered them into the joint, buying them drink after drink to thank them for their 'hard work.'

Wash remembered Book had asked Simon how he felt about shooting someone. Simon had shrugged and said it was the only choice he had, and he didn't even kill the man, so he was okay with it. Badger deserved it.

No one disputed that point.

So here Wash sat, drinking some apple juice to make it look like he was drinking beer and watching the captain, the mercenary, and the doctor drink the night away.

"I'm the boss, I'm the boss, I'm the boss, I'm the boss, I'm the boss...(I'm the) boss, boss, boss, boss, boss, boss." - Raging Bull (1980)

WC: 234

"I'm the captain, I'm the captain, I'm the captain, I'm the captain, I'm the captain…I'm the captain, captain, captain, captain."

"We heard you the first time sir."

"We'll ya'll weren't listening to me before."

"When was that sir."

"When I told you what the plan was."

"…"

"What."

"Mal…well how do I say this…You're plan consisted of staging yourself and Inara as a married couple with me, Kaylee and River as your daughters. Jayne as your brother who owns the company that makes bumper stickers, Simon as his son who is a prostitute selling his body for drugs, my wife as Jayne's husband who is having an affair with you, and Sheppard Book as your dad who went crazy and killed a flock of sheep after the war."

"Yeah…so what's the problem Wash."

"Well…Mal…one it puts me in a dress, two, makes MY WIFE an adulterer, no offence honey."

"None taken sweetheart."

"And three, who on this rock will believe that story Captain."

"Well I'm sure someone will."

"Yeah some guy with his head stuck up his ass and so drunk he can't tell a whore from a horse."

"…Thank you for that image Jayne…"

"Y're welcome Zoe."

"Hey can we stay on topic, how none of you are taking my plan seriously."

"…so Inara, what was that plan of your's again."

"Well it's really quite simple Wash…"

"HEY…you're still not listening to me…"

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Review, review, review please. It'll really make my day.


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